If the Wind Blows Nameless

by Branton G

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about

In March of 2015 I went through an existential crisis. When the silence of the night settled in I realized that there was nothing in existence bearing my name. I had failed at all that I'd set out to do and if I were to suddenly die I would have nothing to leave behind. Soon I thought constantly of death and how I'd wasted my life. This started to lurk over me like a malevolent, monstrous thunderhead. It was only through taking ownership of my failures and accepting myself as just another anonymous life in the world that the storm did break. Through the remainder of the year I slowly began to better myself by tracing all of my problems, one by one, down to their roots and excavating the heart of all that strife. That's when these songs were written.

I didn't set out to make this album when I wrote the first piece. It materialized itself when I wasn't aware; as I was untangling my life and experiences the songs were budding quietly. One day I looked upon my little unknown garden and they had bloomed. I immediately saw the common soil that they shared. It was all those furtive months of healing and quiet self-reflection I'd done while hidden in my hideaway. So I decided to record these songs as simply as I wrote them and with all of the original feeling that planted the seeds. What you'll find represented here now is the period of my life when I'd at long last found peace, understanding, purpose, and the eternal beauty moving through all things before and after.

credits

released March 15, 2017

everything entirely by me (except track 8 which was written by not me)

written March '15 - February '16 / refined June - October '16 / recorded March '17

Special thanks to Taylor V. for being my saving grace and sounding board, Dan & Diane R. for their hospitality and enthusiasm, my mom for letting me mooch off of her for so long, Jason S. for a perspective shift, Faizi C. for his clairvoyant connection, and Anonymous for helping me find my name. This is only the beginning.

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all rights reserved

about

Branton G

I write songs about the moments of my life that I deem necessary to remember. My hope is that, in sharing these with you, you'll find something to connect with.

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Track Name: Puddle in a Field
life is moving all the time
nothing is ever still
the spiral arm unwinds /
life is mysterious and full
of wonders never told
galactic stretch and pull /
life is drifting near
in the blueblack
at the edge of the atmosphere /

I work my useless job, the day goes by so slow
a pantheon of clouds beyond the window /
let me free, let me go
mmmm but the day has already gone /

life is not a pathway to be tread
it's a wilderness yet unmapped
perhaps you've been misled /
cos life is ready for you now
just as it's always been
no need for oath or vow /
and life can never be slowed
no matter how you try
or what you think you're owed /
nothing ever changes when everything's the same /
cascading through the ages the truth will never wane /
life remains untamed /

I'm driving home from work, aware of just one thing:
how everyone can see that the past is dead to me as it should be /
the chapter ends, the next one begins
mmmm unless you've finished the book /

life is seeping beauty at the seams
darkest ocean depths
stitched with silent sunbeams /
life is rising up
from well-springs of the earth
within its ancient gut /
life gets rained upon the land
blessings from the sky
how the river ran /
there's a puddle in a field reflecting dusk /
silverslaked sunset image of us /
life explains love \
Track Name: O'reverie
distant clouds
looming
brewing rain /
ominous shroud
I'll fiercely
pierce the vein /

I'm driving a car with no window
and I'm heading for the storm /
the wipers just won't function
but I'm gonna face whatever's taking form /

gilded clouds
in the slanted sky
glancing, I belay belief /
listen now
as I sing a song
that breathes its own relief /

I flew on a plane and looked out the window
and the sky was clear before and after me /
then I realized the same has always been so
above every storm over every land and sea \
Track Name: Give the Ghost a Name
In the end no one is listening
I can feel a force stiffening, it's stifling /
I'm a specter of despair: my time already came
in life, nobody cared
but now they'll give the ghost a name /

some "songwriter"
lyrics lifeless without sound
chords won't lift off the ground
but I'm familiar with failure /
songs sung and gone
the echoes dissipate
the spirit remains
I'm just a shadow sliding along the night /

In the end no one is listening
I can feel a force stiffening, it's stifling /
I'm a specter of despair: strung out on a frame
if you wish to be spared
won't you give this ghost a name /

I'm a failed author
words that tripped upon the page
I never had a thing to say
just the finality of failure /
passages that passed me
phrasage poorly built
the prose wilts
I'm just the faintest smear of light \
Track Name: Sky Harbor (Stop Lookin' at Stars for Answers)
got the text late after work, drove out past city limits
parked in the grass at the party house with everybody in it /
walked up the steps and I saw my friend smokin' on the porch
oh there's a clamor at the door /

we went inside and talked of people I'd never meet
some kid there was high on something and tryna be discrete (he wasn't) /
in the kitchen we ate old Starbucks food out of a garbage bag
and then we scratched the house-cat /

wandered from room to room, watched some guys play xbox
saw the dog poop on the floor and nobody seemed to be shocked /
when 3am comes around I'm the only one not drunk
but I guess everyone had fun /
feel the optimism within me drop
I'd rather be at home watching Cowboy Bebop /

someone threw up outside and was all sprawled out on the lawn
my friend and I joined him to stare up at the Great Beyond /
that incandescent night sky shut up all of our banter
I can still hear him saying “stop lookin' at stars for answers” /
and then we talked about life for the rest of the night /

it's a long long drive down the old backroad that trails around the edge of town
once I'm finally home I go straight to bed and lie down /
as I'm fallin' asleep the stars wheel away \
Track Name: Unfinishe
I was desperate for an identity
pretending like I would ever be
anything /
I was consumed by a selfish love
no it was never you I was thinking of
just me /

there is no solid sense of rhythm
no resolving of any chords /
unfinished poems, an out of tune guitar
despite my greatest efforts /
I never got too far (I feel like such a fraud) /
[instrumental]

so now will you look at me?
I've still produced no book to read
or anything /
I've resolved to just give up
an elusive love just won't live up
to the dream /

so although I'm far from finished
with everything that I've begun /
and it might've taken me these last seven years
I \
Track Name: I Buried My Son in the Woods
the back acres are sickly dark
and the sky is furious green
twisters of swirling leaves /
lightning pulse, hammering thunder
the trees bend in the wind
meteors of rain descend
but my boy is still out there /

won't you get away from the glass
come into the bathroom with me /
surely he is safe with the neighbors
we need to go right now /
come away from the window now
it's about to touch down /
come away from the window now
get away from the window /
[instrumental]

our property was ruined
the rain flooded the riverbed
and I knew my boy was dead /
we found his lifeless body
when the creek had recessed
mangled among the mess
oh my only son \
Track Name: Plywood Crosses
countryside is all we see
the fields are baked in sun
magnified in the heat
June has just begun /
the sky is vivid blue with stone-white clouds
and the land is breathing in
I'm with you on the edge of town
we're leaving again /
the road rolls like ribbon
through summer's swaying fields
I'm no longer driven
by a desire that yields /
nothing-- ooh I wanna give you something /

plywood crosses mark the road
with dollarstore dressings /
someone died there long ago
where do you think they're resting now? /
voice of the wind on the plains
I'll take it from you and unleash it in spades /

faded signs, a banner fell
it's loosely blowin' sideways
power-lines runnin' parallel
along this battered highway /
I've been hidden in my hideaway
ego's bruised and marred
just been playing video games
but now I'm back in your car /
passing metal ranch gates
longhorns loungin' in the shade
I've passed every due date
yet still I have made /
nothing-- ooh I've gotta give you something /

dried flowers at a wire fence
spindling from the cracked dirt /
a breeze presses them in silence
we're almost to Fort Worth now /
so if the wind blows nameless
it'll untether me and I'll finally and fully be reignless \
Track Name: Moon Presence
ritual secret's broken
something has awoken
demon's souls from a dark dimension /
beasts all over the shop
serrated blades slice and chop
and I'm followed by a face everywhere I look /
gotta cast em out, I ain't yet been took
to those of you in the shadows
it knows-- keep moving /

I feel you lurking in the dark
you're coming for my heart /
the moon has disappeared
but the light is still so sharp
a presence drawing near /

entrancing lull
crush the skull
and gain insight of forces beyond /
we are on the basest of planes
the stillbirth of their brains
no one remembers /
something's coming from the center
of the total eclipse
it dips into the amniotic night /

I feel you lurking in the dark
you're coming for my heart /
the moon has disappeared
but the light has never been so sharp
a presence drawing near /

silence the harrowing cry
ringing through my vertigo mind /
atavistic bloodlust
it will never be enough /
bulwark guarding sleep
keep me from the beast /
quickening sacred dawn
oh the night and the dream were long \
Track Name: Everyone Screamed in Anguish
if I tried and it wasn't right
no that's just not how it's sposta be /
if I fall flat-- no I couldn't face that
what would that say about me? /

what if it isn't perfect?
then that'll be the end, the end of all /
the sky above will spin then it'll fall
so I'll just give up right now /

well I've been sleeping in til 3pm
cos I put all my projects off /
excuse after excuse, my commitment is loose
might as well mark another loss /

what if they see through me?
then that'll be the end, the end of all /
the ground below will rend then it'll fall
maybe I'll put it off for another day /

so far behind I'm leaking time
I know that I'm gonna have to realign /
and that'll be the end, the end of all /
space itself will un-begin and it'll be my fault
but it's not gonna write itself \
Track Name: Dreamwater
in my dreams the water is clear /
nothing material can disturb it
ripples tear on the surface /
fables forbidden feathering down /
they're marching now, the spell has been cast
a trickling procession into a palace of glass /

shimmering softly, frost all in her hair /
quivering memory
the colors aren't all there /

defiled child never looks away /
O changeling what have you seen
slip out of this dripping dream /
purest essence congealing /
stinging light still can't dispel
the unholy beings lapping up the gel /

shimmering softly, her eyes have turned to slush /
trembling tributary
backflow begins to gush /

seven songs of storms symmetrically serene /
they'll repeat until I'm dead
malevolent monstrous thunderhead /
brushed on angel wings
she's levitating towards you now
when I try to scream no sound comes out /

shimmering softly, lacerations on her crystal skin /
wavering world
it quickly crumbles in \
Track Name: It's a Secret to Everybody
January 2014
that's the first time I'd ever seen
her /
I stayed up all night just to hear her name
but when the morning arrived, cold and tame
she was gone /

since then I've seen her many times
on sidewalks and in a restaurant waiting in line
it was her /
across the room she was sitting with a new guy
the light of the afternoon city soft in her eyes
I had to hide /

worry and doubt
it's out slinking about /
fogging up the glass
you're waiting for it to pass
and it will now /

because late this evening I saw you walking
an empty parking lot behind some buildings /
in copper light, just you and I
you turned to me and smiled /
“it's been a while” /

I want you to know that I never forgot
your life your words your quietest thoughts
we are one and the same \
Track Name: In the Dark Corners, or, Cozy and Restful Sleeps
I've been lookin' for the raw truth of life, no matter how obscene
meaning I've spent so many nights staring into my laptop screen
in the dark corners of the internet /

SleepyCabin, you made it happen
sweet supplemental friendship
I'll keep the candle lit /
call me a melvin cos I don't mean to fawn
but your conversations that went on and on /
I hung on to every word
as I walked in the chill of the waking spring /

anonymous, when I was so nonplussed
you helped me see that all my efforts were not in vain
oh how freeing to be without a name /
all the laughter and feels, inspiration and tired memes
so good night pupper; cozy and restful sleeps /
will come to you now
and you'll get it all done tomorrow \